The call

Have you gotten "the call" yet? No? That means we didn't have the baby. I'll be emailing or on the phone with good friends and relatives, and they'll say to me mid-conversation "So, no baby yet?" This flabbergasts me. Did they think that we would have the baby and not tell anyone? The baby isn't a secret; we are not having it in an underground bunker. Trust me, when the baby comes, you will get a call. If you know us well enough to know about this blog and be reading it, chances are you will either get a personal call or email, or someone else will call or email you the news before we can get a chance to personally call you. So don't call us to ask if the baby's come yet; we'll let you know when it comes.

I think personally it's an ego thing. Do you not think you're important enough to find out first or second-hand about the arrival of Baby Silv? Do you think we don't value your friendship highly enough to warrant a call or email with such important news? Maybe you should spend some time thinking not about what other people think of you, but about what you think of you. Do you believe you're not a good enough person to deserve to hear the news of our Superbaby, which no doubt will be awesome? What makes you think that? Were you not hugged enough as a child? Maybe you should have a little "you time," and try to figure out what makes you you, and why that's so special, before you start bothering us with your inane phone calls. Fucker.

The other thing I'm mad about this week (these blog posts are very cathartic) is people telling us to have sex. Yes, we all know that sex is a good way to induce labor. And trust me, we're trying all the different ways we know of to induce the labor. But having people tell us to have sex is a little... icky. Especially people I'm acquaintances with and don't really know that well. When a 50 year old yenta type says to me, "The two of you should really have some sex if you want to get the baby out. When I was 9 months pregnant with Jenna, Ron and I had sex all night every night in every position imaginable and some I didn't know about until I found this Taiwanese love manual in the local library, and the next day our little angel was born," and then winks at me, I throw up a little bit in my mouth. That's just gross, lady. So can it.

Other than that, everything's fantastic. We'll let you know when the baby comes, so no need to make a special call... - Big Papi