Hey there bloggerinos - A lot has happened since we last posted. Apparently when you have a baby, your free time is at a premium and things like "writing a snarky blog post" take the backseat behind "eating" and "showering." Hence, lots of the following bullet points probably deserve their own fully fleshed out blog posts, and in the past would have gotten the proper treatment. But that ain't happening in the post-birth world. So without further ado, here is a numbered list of items to discuss:
1.
"Are you sleeping?" is the new "Are you ready?" Everybody asks us if we're sleeping. It's getting ridiculous. The truth is, the sleep deprivation is not that bad at all. Ivy sleeps pretty well, only needing to get up once or twice per night, and if you anticipate getting up every 3 hours, then when it happens it's not the end of the world. (I've heard that babies often sleep well in the first 3 months and then become awful sleepers in the following 9 months, so hopefully I'm not jinxing anything here). But even when we tell people this, they don't really believe us. It's like they want us to be walking zombies. This then raises the question, "If we were really sleep deprived, would we want you to be constantly reminding us of that fact? Wouldn't the asker of said annoying question deserve a swift kick to the crotch?" A lot of the people who ask us this question (and have asked similar stupid questions while Kim was pregnant) are people who have children, which brought me to the realization that being a parent is kind of like being in a fraternity. You look at the pledges going through all this hell, and you laugh at them, even though you remember when you were doing it and how much it sucked. Well when I was in a fraternity, I was always nice to the pledges and never had them do anything crappy, because I remembered all too well that awful feeling of pledging. And that's the kind of parent I'm going to be, at least with other parents. Moral of the story: I rule.
2.
We went to the movies. Did you feel that? That was your mind getting blown. One thing that EVERYBODY said to us while Kim was pregnant was "Go to the movies now, cause you won't go again for another 18 years! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Well this morning all three of us went to see WALL-E, and not only was the movie awesome, but Ivy slept through the whole thing and did not cause any trouble. So SUCK ON THAT, everyone else. Mean parent fraternity members.
3.
I survived a baby shower. Three of Kim's mom's friends threw us a baby shower in the SD area last weekend, and I have to admit it was pretty fun, despite the fact that I was the only guy among 30 women. There was free food, and crafts, and a lot of booze. During the present-opening section of the shower, Kim had to go feed Ivy, and so I was given the task of opening gifts. I decided that instead of taking my time reading every card, then meticulously opening the present, taking out the gift so everyone could see, saying things like "Oh, it's so darling! How precious! Oh my Gd thank you so much, this is perfect!" etc., I just sped through the whole thing. Cards - who cares. Wrapping paper - meant to be ripped up. Present - yeah it's cute, they're all cute, making a onesie cute is like shooting fish in a barrel. Thanking people - eh, they'll get a card in 2-3 weeks. We all have lives, we gotta make this snappy. The ladies appreciated my attitude, and I think they were a little sad when Kim came back and took over.
4.
Sun morning - a morning that will live in infamy. Last Sat night/Sun morning was a big one in the Silverstein household, because not only did Ivy have explosive diarrhea on me once and Kim TWICE (causing multiple outfits and towels of ours to be trashed), AND not only did she also barf all over Kim during one of those major poo sessions, BUT the cat also decided that he was fed up with being a second-class citizen in the apartment he used to rule with an iron fist, and so he retaliated against us and our reduction of playtime with him by barfing all over the place. We're talking multiple times in each room. And I didn't discover the puke until about 5:30 am when I went to the kitchen to get a new plastic bag to line our trash can with, so at 5:30 in the morning Kim was changing an insanely poo-ey diaper while I was on my hands and knees scrubbing cat barf out of the carpet. At this point I said to Kim "What is with these two stupid little things we have to keep alive?" And thus, the nickname "stupid little things" was born.
There may be more to report but I don't remember - we've got a lot going on here. Since Kim is more photo savvy than I am, she will soon post some pictures, including highlights from the shower and the now infamous Don Rickles Photo. (These are all on Facebook so if you're not on that, you're late to the party). Ta. - Mike
Ivy and Abby Gabby whoop it up on the floor...Ivy takes no notice, and Abby on a number of occasions accidentally whaps Ivy in the face.
Ivy and Jonah - born 2 days before her - are also blissfully unaware of one another as they chill on a blanket in the park.
Ivy meets her newest friend (she's now no longer the youngest IKARite) and Brentwood neighbor, Noa...or NoJo as the kids call her. Noa here is 5 days old. That Lisa and Dave sure made a cutie!
