My latest rant involves hand-washing. Now some people raise their babies in a super-protective plastic bubble and refuse to let any potential germs or bacteria in, but that's just not us. I mean, pretty soon Ivy's gonna be having tea parties on the bathroom floor of the WJCC with Abby Gab and NoJo anyway, so a completely sterile environment is just not happening. That being said, we do ask people to wash their hands (or Purell, though soap and water is more effective) before holding the baby. I don't see why this should be a problem - people should want to eliminate germs from their lives anyway. Plus with all the funky soaps and lotions now available (my favorite flavor is "tester"), hand-washing time has become more fun than ever.
Younger people, I've noticed, have no problem with this. They wash, dry, hold Ivy. No biggie. It's the older (50+) generation that seems to have beef. "Can I hold the baby?" "Do you mind washing your hands first?" "Huh!" (like we've called their mothers prostitutes). No we don't think you're especially grubby; we ask EVERYONE to wash their hands before holding the baby. This is then usually tested by the person: "Wash my hands? Did you ask so-and-so to wash her hands before holding the baby?" YES lady, we tell EVERYONE to wash their hands. Sheesh.
Then when other people go to hold the baby, the first person makes a big deal out of it. "Did that person wash their hands? Cause I had to wash my hands, you know. You made me wash my hands." YES lady, they washed their hands too. You don't have to be so snide about it. It's just hand washing! It's not like we asked you to donate a kidney before holding the baby (though organ donation is a very commendable act).
The funniest example of this was at Gelles's wedding (mazal tov!). This crazy yenta lady came up to me and said "That is the cutest baby. Oh my Gd what a gorgeous baby. Let me hold the baby. I HAVE TO HOLD THE BABY!!!" I said, "Do you mind washing your hands first?" and she has a conniption fit. Finally after five minutes of arguing I say to her "Look, if you have such a problem with washing your hands, would you mind putting on some Purell?" She agrees to that. I hand her Ivy, who has been asleep or quietly happy the entire day (it is now about 11 pm), and within ONE SECOND of being held by this woman, Ivy starts screaming and the woman hands her back to me. So after all that agita, she held the baby for less than a minute. Maybe Ivy knew this woman was whack; she's very intuitive.
So wash your damn hands! Who knows where those hands have been? Grody. - Mike
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2 comments:
we were the same way in the beginning, though we never got flak like you guys have - yikes! some people are apparently quite wedded to their choda. of course, now I am at the stage where germs are the least of my concerns - says the lady who let her daughter gnaw on her keyring - which I'm sure has strains of grossness the national institute of health would be interested in - for a half an hour the other day because it made her happy.... :-)
If they give you guff, maybe you should give them some new-agey BS about how holding a newborn is a deeply spiritual experience. Then make them say the blessing for hand-washing (you know, the one from Passover). This tack will be sufficiently disorienting that they will stop complaining.
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