Surely you can't be serious.

We've come to the point where a common question we've been asked is "have you picked out names?" The answer is yes. And we've even considered what the possible repercussions of such names might be, and frankly they're unavoidable no matter what you pick. We did successfully avoid any names that conjure up memories of kids we knew back in elementary school, like bullies and nose-pickers. However, when tradition suggests naming Jewish children after relatives who have passed on, you are somewhat limited to begin with if that is the naming format you choose. Certainly there is room for creativity - i.e. using the first letter of someone's name and coming up with name that shares that letter - and with Hebrew names there aren't too many problems, unless someone in the family has already been named for that person. You can find out what we've chosen 8 days after Super Baby is born when he/she will be publicly named at the bris/naming, per Jewish tradition.

So in lieu of sharing what the name will be, we've decided to play a fun game of "What the baby will NOT be named" since the possibilities are virtually infinite. This started a couple months ago when I was in bed with my Jewish pregnancy and baby book, researching various Hebrew names and their meanings. I nearly peed myself laughing at some of the awkward and lesser-known biblical and religious names, more on the basis of what their potential nicknames on the playground might be, not to mention the confused stares of secular American strangers every time the kid has to introduce him/herself. This fun game continued at a baby naming we were at recently, where we engaged some of our friends in a bet about what we may (or more likely may not) name our kid. We told them they could safely take the following names out the running:

• Boaz (boy)
• Pinchas (boy)
• Faigy (girl)

Then this weekend I found myself downing Shirley Temples at Jami and Jordan's wedding, causing Super Baby to get on its little uterine trampoline and do back flips. Despite his/her apparent enjoyment of this beverage, Shirley can also be added to the Rejected Names list.

I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.