Maybe I'll even get struck by lightening twice!

It's the post I've dreaded writing, and have been hoping and praying I never would have to write it. It's been a long weekend with an unexpected trip to the hospital where I've been since Friday night. Here's the whole, long story:

Back at week 19, I went in for my "big" ultrasound, when they do an entire anatomy scan. Baby was doing great - measuring a little ahead, and I covered my eyes when the technician checked out the goods. When the doctor came in a little while later to look over her pictures, he abruptly shared the news that I had placenta previa. The gist of it was my placenta was covering the top of my cervix and if it didn't migrate over the next 12 or so weeks I would need a c-section, thank you goodbye.

Needless to say I left the office in tears, feeling totally overwhelmed and lacking information about this. Of course I ran home and consulted Dr. Google, which is always the WORST thing to do when diagnosed with anything, especially pregnancy related. But I did learn some interesting facts and statistics, which is more than I can say for the doctor at the prenatal diagnosis center (not my regular OB, who totally kicks ass). Placenta previa typically causes no pain, unless you're having cramping or contractions, and is nearly a random occurance, in terms of where the placenta ends up attaching to the uterus, except that you're more likely to have it if you've have a previous c-section or are a cocaine user, neither of which apply to me. There is no way to prevent it, and really no way to treat it except being extra cautious when it comes to daily activity. Oh and no sex. (Okay.) About 1 in 200 women have placenta previa during pregnancy. But only 10% still have it by the time they deliver; for the other 90% the placenta migrates over the course of the pregnancy as the uterus expands, leaving the cervix unobstructed and free for vaginal delivery.

So lemme get this straight. Ten percent of 1 in 200 is approximately .05% of pregnant women who end up having placenta previa at the time of birth. I'm no statistician, but I'm even more in the minority here than I was getting pregnant on the pill! I wonder what the stats are of women who get pregnant on the pill AND have placenta previa...(I actually tried doing the math at 5:00 this morning when I was lying awake in my hospital bed, but quickly gave up).

Do I know how to beat the odds or what? Why can't I friggin' win the lottery or something?

So of course I'm devastated. I am terrified beyond belief of having a c-section, even though I know it's unfortunately quite common and that my situation makes it mandatory. And I guess, if I have to choose, I'd rather know about it in advance than have an "emergency" situation where I'm unprepared...which could of course still have happened even without previa. But still. I can't even have minor dental surgery without extreme panic attacks requiring heavy sedatives...and you're telling me I'm going to be awake while they slice open my abdomen and pull a baby out?! Holy shit! Not at all how I envision giving birth. Seriously, surgery??!!

And besides, imaging giving birth again, the way I did with Ivy, is what has gotten me through some of the darkest moments of this pregnancy. I loved the surprise of going to labor - especially since with Ivy I was past 40 weeks. I knew it was going to be any day, but I had no idea when. I loved pushing - Mike and Sameer, the resident, were my awesome coaches until Dr. Tsui arrived. They made it fun and cheered me on for over 2 hours. And I loved the way Dr. Tsui came in and took care of business, helping me bring my beautiful daughter into the world with warmth, calmness, and professionalism. I feel like of all the blows I've been dealt during this experience, this one hurts the most. Of course, I'm grateful that we have the technology and know-how to have determined my situation early on, thus saving me from going into labor and God forbid hemorhaging or hurting the baby. But I still feel robbed of having the birth experience that would have meant so much to me, especially after all the stress and anxiety of this pregnancy.

And apparently my prayers from weeks 19-31 that the placenta would migrate were not answered.

On Friday, I came home from a quick work trip in the Bay Area in time for Shabbat, missing Mike and Ivy so much, and excited to spend the weekend hanging out (or "just chilling" as Ivy has been known to say lately). It was a packed couple days with more running around than I normally do, but I wasn't feeling any worse than usual, just tired and ready come and collapse. My plane landed and I jumped straight in my car to head to Shabbat dinner with our friends Rebecca and Adam and their son Simon (Ivy's new best bud). I got to their apartment where Mike and Ivy already were and immediately had to pee. No surprise there, considering a small child is constantly sitting on my bladder.

Well then I discovered I was bleeding. Not good. Called the doctor on call and she told me to come to the hospital. Oy. I had literally spent 5 minutes with Ivy and now I had to turn around and leave her again. We went to the hospital and Rebecca and Adam were so amazing to let Ivy stay over for a while...though she clearly missed her chance for her first and only co-ed sleepover while she lives under our roof, as she did NOT want to go to bed even when Simon went down. Poor thing - did not do well with this situation.

Anyway, we headed to the hospital, trying to not panic. When I walked into the ER, people who were waiting were all giving me smiles, probably thinking "Oh neat, she's in labor!" NO! I'm only 31 weeks dammit!!! Fortunately I was whisked away quickly and put in a triage room where the tests and poking and prodding began. We watched some bad TV (including an awesome infomercial for these) and waited. I was finally moved to a real room just before midnight, and at 1am the doctor came in for an ultrasound. I was so lucky that he happened to be the director of the maternal and fetal medicine department for all of the hospital - he was lovely; talked me through everything and giving me understandable explanations of what was going on. Basically my placenta was still previa, but since all the bloodwork and cultures came back normal there was no sign of abruption and it was likely just a few too many contractions (thanks to being dehydrated and from too much activity) that caused the bleeding. I am now on 48-hour watch to make sure I am done bleeding and before I can go home. All this time, no pain or anything. And Dos was still kicking and punching up a storm - doesn't like the external fetal monitor that the nurse kept trying to tape in place! And once they started me on an IV the contractions stopped.

So thus began my stay here - ahh the memories of staying at the hospital. Crappy food (though the process of menu selection is quite hilarious, especially when you choose Kosher food), people constantly barging in to bring extra towels and cups of water and who knows what else (but not taking anything away), and of course the awesome nurses! I have been so lucky to have some great women taking care of me. The best part was getting a visit from Dionne, who was my nurse from when Ivy was born - she totally remembered us and it was great to see her. But basically I'm just sitting here, feeling fine, and totally bored out of my skull. A couple friends have come to visit, bringing me delicious food and wonderful company (and nasty magazines...ahem, you know who you are), and my parents and brother also came up for a visit. Mike has spent several hours here, and Ivy has came by a couple times as well. She didn't love watching me get my blood pressure taken - "take it off!!!" - but felt much more relieved when the "uh-oh's" (the external fetal monitors) were removed from my belly. She finally agreed to come snuggle on the bed with me and covered my tummy with kisses. She loves the baby so much already, it's so amazing. She also ate every package of crackers in sight and loved watching cartoons on the TV. She gets more comfortable with the scene the more she visits. But it's so hard being away from her.

Okay keep your fingers crossed that I get to bust outta here soon. Will likely be Tuesday at this point, and who knows what's next. I'm looking forward to finally getting to talk to my doctor tomorrow, as I have not been terribly pleased with the one in his group who's been on call this weekend. And if you're nearby, I welcome the company - seriously, it's no imposition and will help pass the time. I look like crap, but you'll deal.

Oh and bring some scratcher tickets with you - I need to beat the odds in my favor this time, especially with an unintended hospital bill coming down the pike. Thanks!

Live from Labor and Delivery, praying that neither occurs for several more weeks!