Schedules are for suckers

Well that happened! This baby has been all about surprising us from the start, so I shouldn't have been surprised that he decided to show up before his scheduled eviction. Here's how it all went down:

Since Monday night, I had been feeling VERY anxious. On the one hand it was a relief to have a date scheduled, but for some reason it felt like I had scheduled myself to check into jail or for an execution or something. I know that sounds terribly morbid, but surgery was feeling more and more like a punishment and was totally disconnected to having a baby. I couldn't help it. I was just plain scared. And then I went down the rabbit hole of imagining every possible scenario where something could go wrong. Monday night was rough. Tuesday was better, and I was so exhausted by Tuesday night that I finally slept well again. On Wednesday, Mike decided that what I needed to get through the week was something little to look forward to every day so I had something positive to focus on. We planned a few little outings that wouldn't be too incompatible with my modified bedrest and tried to figure out ways to enjoy the next 7 days. (Maybe it was the whole "last meal before baby" talk that made me feel like I was on death row!)

Anyway, got into bed Wednesday night feeling more or less fine...calm, not in pain or anything. As I was reading, I felt something drip. Thought I was just bleeding again, which even if it wasn't so bad would have still made me nervous. But no, my water broke! And it was very bloody, so off to the hospital we went. The funny part is that I had just to a friend the day before that I was less scared of a spontaneous event such as this than I was of the scheduled c-section. At least now I knew what to do and I didn't have to think twice about anything - there was no second guessing whether I should go to the hospital. However I was still quaking with disbelief that it was about to happen - I said to Mike, "I guess we're having a baby tonight!" And not a moment too soon - we had JUST finished watching the last season's finale of DEXTER! It was really good, though not optimal to be headed into the hospital with visions of a serial killer cutting people open and bathtubs full of blood.

Fortunately we have awesome new neighbors, after the monsters moved out, and Christian was able to come down immediately to watch Ivy, who was already asleep, until someone else could get there. Denise, his wife, is a nurse at the Cedars nursery so when she heard I was headed in she called both the ER and L&D to tell them I was on my way. It was so sweet. And amazing that from the time my water broke and I got to the hospital only about 20 minutes had elapsed. My bag had been (minimally) packed since my first hospital stay so I was ready, and luckily I remembered to grab the camera (which thank God had a charged battery!) on the way out!

We arrived at the hospital and I was warmly greeted by the receptionist who was expecting me and wheeled upstairs. I was shaking, I was so scared...not of the bleeding or water breaking, but by the inevitable surgery that was now literally staring me in the face. I couldn't even sign myself in. Finally I was in triage and being checked out - baby of course was doing great, kicking off the monitors every chance it got, but they confirmed that it was indeed too much blood to let me wait til Tuesday (duh) and since at the stroke of midnight I would be exactly 37 weeks, it was time to prep the OR. They called my doctor who showed up soon after, and we got ready. Mike put on scrubs and so it all began.

Fakest smile ever - I am terrified out of my wits!

I'm not gonna lie. I hated it. Despite all of the reassuring words of support, it was utterly miserable, despite the outcome and the fact that everything actually went very smoothly and quickly. First came the epidural. When I was in labor with Ivy, that moment was heaven on earth (except for the anesthesiologist) because I had been in so much pain. This time, it was the same huge ordeal but it wasn't relief from pain at all (I wasn't in any), rather it was to prep me for the dreaded surgery. It worked great and soon I was laying not-so-comfortably on the table, numb from mid-chest down. And this is where I'm so glad to have had the advice from several friends who've had c-sections, because at that point I started shaking uncontrollably. I had been warned about this, but it was worse than I had imagined. My teeth were chattering and my arms were flailing on the boards they were held out against. I was looking around the white room with the bright lights and all of the people, and the machines beeping, and yes, even the Bob Marley Greatest Hits playing in the background (what the...?). It was surreal.

I had no idea that the procedure had even begun until Mike, who was sitting at my head, stood up and peered over the curtain and said "I see the legs...and wait, is that a little penis?! It's a BOY!" And he laughed. It was an incredible moment - I was hating the whole thing, yet I found a moment to finally calm down and breathe a sigh of relief that our little boy was finally out. But I still had to lay there and get stitched up, so I wasn't entirely out of the woods yet. I tried to focus on watching the baby who was now to my left at the warmer. Mike was taking lots of pictures and then showing them to me so I could be in on the action. And then before I knew it, they were cleaning up me and the room and it was over. Thank God. "Every little thing...is gonna be alright...." Oh Bob, how profound and timely!

Here he is!

At that point Mike had escorted the baby out of the room. He was breathing on his own okay, but it was a bit labored and because he was early AND delivered by c-section, they wanted to keep an extra close watch on his lungs to make sure there was no excess fluid in there. So he went off to the NICU for some observation and stayed there for about the first 36 hours of his life. It was tough - I wanted to be with him and start breastfeeding, and I just wanted to know he was okay. Mike would go up there every couple hours to check, and fortunate he was going great. Eventually, once I was out of recovery, I was able to go up and start feeding him. And that continued every three hours, through the night, until about noon on Friday when he was finally released and brought to my room. I won't even get into the nonsense situation of our nurses that first day, but let me just say that expressing our concerns and issues to the charge nurse (and, randomly, someone Mike knows who works in development here) got us very far.

First feeding in the NICU - thankfully, he only had all the tubes in for about 12 hours (looks scarier than it was)

By the time he came down to me and I had some amazing new nurses, I was much more relaxed and calm, and so happy to finally be with my baby. And then, enter Big Sister Ivy. Oh my God, one of the best moments of my life, hands down. She was so excited to meet her baby brother! She was jumping up and down shrieking (which had to try to put a stop to) saying "That's my baby!" She smothered his little feet with kisses and patted him gently. It was great to have the two of them snuggling with me in my bed. In fact the only time she freaked out was when we told her she couldn't help feed the baby yet. She knows that at some point she'll be able to help with a bottle but I told her that right now all of the milk is inside me and soon I will put some in a bottle. "But I want you to put the milk in the bottle NOW!" Sorry kiddo, not getting the pump out again so soon.

"It's my baby!"

Holy crap, I have 2 kids!

Anyway, we've been resting and recovering nicely here. I'm on baby's feeding schedule (he's a frequent grazer), so that's about a busy as I get. We've had a bunch of visitors, which has been lovely, especially since they've been inundating me with cupcakes and cookies and cake pops. Not great for losing weight, but I'm still in week one postpartum so I'm entitled. Oh, and who knew there was an insane heat wave right now?! I love the heat, and I'm stuck in the hospital! Well, it is warmer than I would like in this room, but I'm not outside so that's a bummer. Tomorrow I go home - and thus begins our new life. See you on the flip side when we'll be able to announce his name!

Hello world - here I am!