The homestretch ALREADY?

Here I am, at Jami and Jordan's wedding, about a week away from entering the third trimester. Shoot. Where did all that time go?

25 Weeks!

I'm already sick of my 3 pairs of pants...that's not a good sign with 3 months to go. And I think we need to start reorganizing our closet space. Yes, these are the things that keep me up at night. Could be worse. At least Snoogle and I have more or less reconciled our issues.

Upcoming fun in the next month:

• Glucose test at the doctor next week - goody, MORE blood!
  
• Awaiting the arrival of Baby Landres and Baby Ormsby
• Birthing class at Cedars - should be oodles of fun...better be for $150.
  

Surely you can't be serious.

We've come to the point where a common question we've been asked is "have you picked out names?" The answer is yes. And we've even considered what the possible repercussions of such names might be, and frankly they're unavoidable no matter what you pick. We did successfully avoid any names that conjure up memories of kids we knew back in elementary school, like bullies and nose-pickers. However, when tradition suggests naming Jewish children after relatives who have passed on, you are somewhat limited to begin with if that is the naming format you choose. Certainly there is room for creativity - i.e. using the first letter of someone's name and coming up with name that shares that letter - and with Hebrew names there aren't too many problems, unless someone in the family has already been named for that person. You can find out what we've chosen 8 days after Super Baby is born when he/she will be publicly named at the bris/naming, per Jewish tradition.

So in lieu of sharing what the name will be, we've decided to play a fun game of "What the baby will NOT be named" since the possibilities are virtually infinite. This started a couple months ago when I was in bed with my Jewish pregnancy and baby book, researching various Hebrew names and their meanings. I nearly peed myself laughing at some of the awkward and lesser-known biblical and religious names, more on the basis of what their potential nicknames on the playground might be, not to mention the confused stares of secular American strangers every time the kid has to introduce him/herself. This fun game continued at a baby naming we were at recently, where we engaged some of our friends in a bet about what we may (or more likely may not) name our kid. We told them they could safely take the following names out the running:

• Boaz (boy)
• Pinchas (boy)
• Faigy (girl)

Then this weekend I found myself downing Shirley Temples at Jami and Jordan's wedding, causing Super Baby to get on its little uterine trampoline and do back flips. Despite his/her apparent enjoyment of this beverage, Shirley can also be added to the Rejected Names list.

I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.

Dad's Club

Last week, the synagogue that we belong to sponsored a "New Dad's Night," in which all the guys whose wives are pregnant or who just had babies met up to discuss dad-related issues. Of the 8 or so guys who were there, most of them had already had the kid or were working on a second or third kid, so the whole pregnancy/birthing/fatherhood thing was old hat to them. Not so much for me. I felt very overwhelmed by the lingo these guys were throwing out, especially "doolah," a term I had never heard before. Is that the right spelling? "Dullah" maybe? It's the midwife-y birth coach person who helps out while your wife is in labor. The group spent about 15 minutes discussing the pros and cons of having one, while the whole time I was like, "Uh guys? Little help here? What exactly are we talking about?" They also used a complex number system for contractions, like 5-1-1, 4-1-1, etc. 911 was not mentioned, though it should have been.

The good news is, I now know a bunch of guys who will have babies roughly the same age as Superbaby so we can all hang out, change diapers, discuss sporting events, lick wing sauce off the kids' heads a la that commercial for some terrible new show on Fox, etc. And even if I'm behind now, I'm confident that I'll catch up with a quickness. By the ninth or tenth kid, I'm sure I'll have it all worked out...

There were 5 in the bed...

So at the highest count last week there were 5 in our bed - me, Mike, Super Baby (it counts, trust me - it takes up significant space), Poker the cat, and...the Snoogle.
Bless this woman's heart, and I sure hope she's having the sleep of her life, but do not be fooled! I spent $50 for this damn body pillow after a couple weeks of restless sleeps (and that was just due to physical discomfort...forget about my fragile mental state of anxiety), and already is potentially destroying our marriage, not to mention my neck muscles. It took a few nights to get used to it, after lying there with the above photo that came with it trying to emulate the various positions, while Sleepy Mike (yes, we have nighttime alter egos Sleepy Mike and Sleepy Kim who do not always act as nice as regular Mike and Kim) angrily responded by snatching the covers to his side, leaving me fluctuating between temperature extremes (the heat situation in our apartment is an entirely other story) and trying to wrangle the Snoogle. But as I adjusted, I watched our intimacy slip away into the night as it is now rare that we have any physical contact at all. I was warned that the Snoogle has to go as soon as the baby is born if I want any chance of rekindling the marital flame. Don't worry, that won't be a problem.

Then this weekend, I woke up on Saturday feeling kinda lousy after a fitful night's sleep and a tummy ache - throwback to week 11, anyone? - and we came home from services in desperate need of a nap. So I had to do the unthinkable. I kicked Mike out so the Snoogle and I could have the bed to ourselves.

And it was a damn good nap.

BUT, herein lies another problem. Although I am increasingly adjusting to finding comfortable positions for slumber, I have realized how much the Snoogle actually restricts your movement (the purpose, I think) to the point of stiff joints and muscles. I woke up yesterday feeling much better than Saturday - we did our Chinese New Year 5K run/walk (guess who did which), ate, showered, ran errands, etc. But as the day progressed my head became decreasingly mobile and by about 5pm I had virtually no lateral movement. I bought a warm compress for my neck, but that only did so much...driving to a meeting I had to go to was probably not the best idea, if you can imagine trying to parallel park without being able to turn your head.

Upon hearing the news that I was pregnant, someone told me "Get sleep while you can!" I wish I could say that this is someone who has never experienced pregnancy, but she has and clearly had a better relationship with her Snoogle than I have with mine. Everyone else has said when I complain about lack of sleep is that this is just preparation for when the baby arrives. THAT I am more or less prepared for - but I was really counting on some super snuggly sleeps over the next few months!

Shout to Kim and Tony Panza on the arrival of Bethany! After reading their baby blog, I was relieved to learn she arrived early (and healthy, thank gd) so that poor Kim didn't have to endure birthing an enormous baby. We can't wait to introduce the kids!

Things baby does not like

I've started to notice recently that Super Baby is starting to pick up on life outside the womb. I like to believe it has a super keen set of ears and little binoculars from which it peers out of my tummy. And it's starting to form opinions, so I'm pleased that our values are being transmitted already.

The first instance of note was on Shabbat morning this past weekend during text study. We were looking at Jewish law and abortion, which was a really interesting discussion. By no means was it a political argument of any kind, but I think Super Baby knew something was up that potentially had to do with it and got a little agitated. I think it heard "fetus" and "abort" in the same sentence and must have panicked. I hadn't felt any movement all morning until this discussion, so it was quite fascinating to observe its reaction. Don't worry Baby, you're in the clear on this one!

Then last night during the Super Bowl, it started throwing a 4th quarter tantrum...I don't blame it. I almost threw a tantrum myself. We were all really bummed at the outcome of the game. Poor Super Baby, experiencing it's first taste of what it's like to be a Boston sports fan and the innate heartache. Eli is DEFINITELY off the list of names now. (Not that it was ever on, but for sure now it will never be.)

Book it

There are many pregnancy books out there, and very few of them are daddy-centric (or even daddy-themed). I find this odd as in 99% of all pregnancies, a daddy is involved. (I say 99% because I actually know someone who was a test-tube baby - this girl named Allison in my dorm freshman year at Penn. She is nice). I wanted to purchase a book like this and study it, as there are a lot of basic baby-type activities (like changing a diaper) that I am woefully clueless about. (On the other hand, I am woefully clueless about a lot in life, baby-related or not, so I guess this is just par for the proverbial course).

The one that I purchased, called Be Prepared, is all right. It does contain some basic info that I learned, like how to swaddle a baby and how to prepare formula. The majority of the book though is lame. A lot of it is very "guy" based, like "Set up a workout for your baby! Urnh! Work those baby abs!" Yeah, that ain't happening. A lot of it is plain stupid, like the page and a half that explained the Five Second Rule and applied it to various baby things (like, "It's ok if the baby's pacifier falls on the floor. Five Second Rule!"). Dude, I understand the Five Second Rule. Not worth explaining. Another enjoyable section of the book was the "Sex After Pregnancy" chapter, which said in delicate terms that if your wife is too tired from dealing with the baby and if she doesn't feel in the mood because her body is still recovering from the birth, you can always take care of your needs by having her give you a blowjob. (Wait, is my mom reading this...?)

But I still would like to read a helpful, entertaining book that describes all sorts of daddy stuff so that I at least have a passing knowledge of simple parenting techniques when Superbaby arrives. If you are a recent dad and read this (who reads this besides Rainy? Shout out for the Rainster! Colorado - what what!!!), and have good daddy book recommendations, please post a comment. If you don't post, and the kid turns out really screwed up, you only have yourselves to blame.

I'm finally showing, or Who knew shopping could be so stressful?

The Babymoon marked the official half way point - last Saturday was 20 weeks - and it was basically that weekend that my belly decided to shoot out. (Oh, and I went with pre-preg bikinis after all. They more or less covered what they needed to cover.) It was an odd week - I could never really be certain if anyone knew, unless they were our waitress at dinner one night to whom my expectancy was apparently so obvious that it was smacking her in the face. No one at the B&B mentioned it until the last day, and we had been eating breakfast with these people for 5 days! Clothing wasn't too much of a challenge since I was in comfy, non-restrictive clothes all week as much as humanly possible. It was such a relaxing vacation - perfect time to rest, have adventures, and get excited planning for Super Baby.

Here I am, officially half way through:

Upon my return, I decided "Denial no more!" and I would hit the shops to accommodate my changing figure. Thus far, I pretty much had one pair of maternity pants which I promptly put on my first morning back to work, once I realized that I was in no mood to see if anything fit anymore. And I needed to dress myself past Wednesday, so... Let me tell you though, when you literally have 2 stores in the mall to choose from shopping isn't so fun anymore. First stop was Pea in a Pod where I spent way too much on a pair of jeans, but dammit if I'm going to be wearing one pair of jeans for the next 5 months they better not fall apart on me. Old Navy was disappointing, but I will likely go back there for some basic t-shirts and stuff once I've stretched out all my other shirts. I also got some new bras, and did some damage online as well. Ann Taylor Loft has a new maternity section on their website and was having a bitchin' sale, so I got some nice pants for work. I think I have now successfully created a miniature wardrobe for the time being, though I know I will be sad when cute spring clothes start arriving in stores and begin to more and more like an elephant.

And here's a picture of Super Baby's feet from the 20 week ultrasound:

You can't see it, but he/she is checking out Zappos as we speak...