Don't call us, we'll call you

Allow me to point out the obvious (as if NO ONE has done this yet) - I am rapidly approaching my due date. If you look at my little ticker at the top of the blog, you'll notice that the little baby in the pea pod doesn't have much further to travel through the cabbage patch. And come Saturday, whether or not Super Baby has emerged, the bottom of the ticker will say "Congratulations!" No flexibility for the overdue...but I digress.

While I appreciate the love and support and concern, does anyone really think I'm going to go through this and NOT tell people?! Like I'm just going to let a couple weeks go by before casually sending out an email that says "Oh by the way I had my kid"? Who says shit like "Oh, you're still here?!" and "I guess you didn't have the baby yet!"...??? Really? Showing up at work every day is getting on my nerves, if for no other reason than having EVERYONE stop by my office to comment on my presence, of which I am obviously very aware. And they all make their comments as if they are SO original and the first to say something to me! But I know that if I just stopped showing up it would incite a frenzy and my phone would be ringing off the hook. Maybe I should just mess with people and see what happens...hmmm, not a bad idea.

And at this point I've tried it all (well, almost) to get this kid out. I have been drinking the raspberry leaf tea (which I was disappointed to realize tastes NOTHING like raspberry), I take long walks as often as possible, I've had The Salad (which at least was delicious) and other supposed labor-inducing foods. My favorite suggestion so far was moving furniture - maybe I'll just push the couch back and forth across the room a couple times. My least favorite is sex - because really, despite a couple valiant attempts, it's just not a happy place to be when you feel like a whale. And I don't think I'll ever get desperate enough to try castor oil.

So in short, we'll be in touch...when we have news we'll share it. I feel great (except for a little cold I seemed to have picked up and generally being more tired), and keep your fingers crossed for some progress when I go to the doctor on Friday. Sorry if this sounds bitchy, but you have no idea...unless you do, in which case you should sympathize. C'mon Super Baby - we're ready for you here on the outside!