Oh hai...did you miss me?

Okay let's be honest. You probably didn't miss me because all 12 of you who read this are also my Facebook friend or my MeMo friend, and I have been known to occasionally Facebook overshare and pour my heart out to MeMo. But since it's summer, and things have slowed down a bit, I have a few things I want to blog about so here's goes nothing.

Let's see, I haven't been on here since April when I started my new job. That's going well...really well, actually. I love walking to work - my routine includes drinking my smoothie and listening to the news on my KPCC app. 5 blocks is just enough to not feel totally disconnected from the world. I don't even mind that my hours during the school year are 7:45am - 4pm. We're up early anyway and this forces me to be useful and practical with my time in the morning. And now we have summer hours, so I'm only there from 9am-3pm...score one for summer! I have great co-workers; everyone is just so nice and warm. Sure there are some politics and challenging personalities, but it's refreshing compared to some of my previous places of employment. Overall it's a great fit...low stress, decent flexibility, and most importantly the ability to come home and be with my kids and work on my photography. 

Speaking of, I cannot believe how my business has grown and how much I have grown as a photographer. I am busy almost every weekend and I keep trying new things with my inspirations and techniques and equipment. I am so blessed that my friends turn to me when they want special moments in their lives documented...it's why I do it.

Soon after I started my job, Mike and I took a trip to Charlotte, NC to visit our friends Tamar and Noam. It was our first getaway since before Ivy was born, and we savored every second. We spent evenings relaxing on the porch drinking wine and Skinny Girl margaritas out of mason jars, while sitting at their new picnic table. And if you remember, I am obsessed with patio furniture so I am using my very generous end-of-year gift from the school's parent association to buy this sweet number for our yard:

 

Here are a few quick iPhone shots from that trip (the rest are, ya know, on Facebook):

In May, we made our pilgrimage to Mountain View for my nephew's 1st birthday and enjoyed lots of family time over Memorial Day weekend. We came back in time for Ivy, our original BabySilv, to celebrate turning 4....whaaaaaat??!! She's, like, a real person.

One of the many things that's so awesome about her now, in addition to her wit and personality, is that she's really developing true friendships. She has always had friends, and can instantly become friends with anyone she meets, but now she's starting to employ the concept of having "best friends":
 

Sidney is also getting more awesome by the day. His vocabulary is exploding and he is really a funny kid. He's totally into basketball (at his own discovering) and Mickey Mouse and has his favorite books. He's just so much fun and we love him to pieces:

So now that we're full swing into summer, we're taking advantage of our gorgeous weather and trying to spend lots of time outdoors...swimming, playing in the backyard, taking walks, and hopefully doing a lot of this:



We head to Boston next month for some quality time with Mike's parents and our east coast friends. We're really excited about that, especially since Sidney has never been and Ivy wasn't even 2 the last time we were there. But the shiny object dangling in front of me that keeps me going every day is my girls Malibu beach house weekend in September...more on that another time. For now, enjoy how these two just love each other:

And on the 365th day of unemployment, she rested...because she got a job!

The craziest year of my life is over. As of a week from now, I will FINALLY be gainfully employed again. And of course, not only was the journey a stressful one, but after a year of NO offers I ended up with TWO in the span of 2 hours. First world problem, I know. And while I should have reveled in the embarrassment of riches, I actually found myself in the midst of a full-blown identity crisis. Let me explain.

As the year-mark of my hunt for employment approached, I basically had given up. Not given up the search, but given up the fantasy that there's a "perfect" job. There are lots of GREAT jobs - I apply to them all the time, and don't get called. If I do get a call, something happens where someone else has more experience, I don't have the "right" experience, or the organization doesn't know what they want and they hire no one. Some potential employers are nicer and more professional about it than others. And it's not just the job itself to be considered...of course there's the salary, benefits, and work-life balance. It was becoming very apparent that if I was looking for a job with meaning, a respectable wage, and the flexibility I needed to also be a mom I could only pick 2.

Salary is almost a non-issue since in the nonprofit sector many organizations expect their employees to be martyr-like while paying their top (usually male) executives salaries that put them in the proverbial 1%. Believe me, I have no illusions that I will ever make a lot of money but I do need to eat, and so do my kids. And I have no patience for lines like "we don't work here for the money, we do it because we believe in the mission!" expressed with convincing enthusiasm. In my book, that's called volunteering. So given the economy (it's an employer's market, after all), my expectations were reasonable and I was a little more flexible with my requirements.

What I'm left with, then, is deciding between jobs that would fulfill me and fully utilizes my skills, education, and experience and propels me on an upward career trajectory, and jobs where I'm - dare I say - "overqualified" but will give me the quality of life that I need and want. Which brings me to last week...

I had being applying to both kinds of jobs, and within the last month had made headway with one job in the former category (career building) and one in the latter (quality of life). The job with meaning was a fundraising job...a great job for me with my fundraising experience. It was at a top-notch organization with a challenging and exciting portfolio. But along with it would inevitably come more stress and less flexibility to fulfill my parenting responsibilities than they were leading me to believe I could have. I also have my photo business, which has become very important in my life and not something I want to give up. And finally, there was just something about the whole interview process that made me uneasy...I can't really put my finger on it, but even though it was the better job, something just did not click. Maybe it was that it was so scripted and by the book, and didn't at all give me a genuine impression of what it would be like to work there. Maybe it was the fact that my would-be boss took notes throughout the entire interview and barely made eye contact. Or maybe it was the fact that they hadn't been able to fill the position for a year...which I'm guessing the salary may have had something to do with it (red flag!).

The other job - an administrative/operations one - was clearly going to give me the quality of life I desired. But by no means am I suggesting it's entirely without meaning. Quite the contrary. It's for a Jewish organization, and I know from the interviews that they really appreciate my skills and experience that will contribute in a meaningful way. The interviews were warm and collegial, and the best part - it's 4 blocks from my house. Adios commuting!

I got the first offer from the fundraising job. I was scared. I honestly felt like I was forcing myself to be excited because it wasn't like I could turn it down. I needed the job; well, I needed A job. I tentatively negotiated a few points, and left the ball in their court. An hour later, I got the second offer and was stunned. Not only was I not expecting it (I was sure they were going to consider me overqualified and not be able to meet my salary requirements) but I now had to make the decision I had been anticipating might happen. It wasn't going to be made for me, like most of my jobs in the past. Shit. I'm terrible at making big decisions.

However, I knew in my heart which job I was going to take. I just needed the confidence boost that I was indeed making the right decision. Not only that, I needed to be reassured that I wasn't giving up my career by choosing the lifestyle over the job. The reality is, I don't want to be a career fundraiser...sure, I'm good at it and I like it enough, but it's not my forever career. And this is likely not the last job I'll ever have. Making a change that is better for my family is not a bad thing...right?

Oh yeah, and the salaries and benefits were almost identical. (The fact that the Development Manager salary was being offered at basically the same rate as an Admin job is a whole other problem.) So let's see...if money is off the table, and I don't really love the job that is going to look better on my resume, why would I NOT choose the job closer to home, with Jewish holidays off, and regular hours so I never have to stress about picking up my kids?

Furthermore, I can't take risks anymore. There's too much at stake. Stability is much more important to me than climbing some hypothetical career ladder only to smash into the glass ceiling, which as a working woman and mom most definitely exists. Sure, the other job may have been more challenging and exciting, but with much greater demands and higher expectations. In another life, where working late on a whim wouldn't have been an issue, I would have jumped at the opportunity. But my kids need me. And I need them. And I look forward to the challenges that will come with this new job, knowing that at the end of the day I really get to leave my work at work and come home to focus on the kids, my photography, my commitments to IKAR, and our crazy, messy life.

So there you have it. Time to dust off my heels and get ready to program the coffee maker to go off in the morning...did I mention I start at 7:45am? But since I can walk out my door and be there in less than 10 minutes by foot, I'm not too worried. I look forward to meeting and getting to know my new colleagues and continuing to expand my network and skills. Finally, life is getting back to normal...whatever that is.

Daylight Savings for Dummies

I have time to write this post because it's 7AM and my kids are STILL SLEEPING! Swear on everything, yesterday is my favorite day of the year. Later sunsets, here we come! More daylight = more happiness and cheer in my world.

Here's how we roll when we change the clocks: Stick to whatever time it is on the clock. That's it. None of this "well it's really only..." or "my body feels like its..." I know don't know from time since becoming a parent - I'm ALWAYS tired, so the numbers make little difference. What's one more day of being exhausted?

Anyway, we put the kids to bed normal time on Saturday (maybe a little later than normal because Ivy had her first friend "sleepover"!) and let them get up when they naturally did on Sunday...7AM. ("Feels like" 6...so, early but again who's counting?) We decided it would be a condensed one-nap day for Sidney so we pushed his nap to 12, and he slept only an hour. So he was tired the rest of the day which would all work nicely into our plan. Ivy napped as usual, and then we went to the Skirball to run them ragged at the Noah's Ark exhibit. An early Souplantation dinner at 5PM ("feels like" 4...we're officially Early Birds!), home by 6:30 to play outside for 1/2 hour, basking in the glow of dusk. Then it was inside for baths, jammies, stories and in bed at 7:30, per usual. They were both tired enough to not know that it only "felt like" 6:30 (but then again they can't tell time, so again we win!), and crashed.

Fast forward to 7AM...two kids still snoozing! Sure they may "feel like" it's 6, which is normal for them, but who the hell cares? Sidney just woke up after nearly 12 consecutive hours!!! And we totally set Ivy up for success because she has one of these:

and in the last 3 weeks, she has only stayed in her room until the green light about 5 times. (5 times, cumulatively, earns her a Dora episode privilege) This morning the light was green, and let me tell you...she just woke up and could not have been a more pleasant individual.

So that's how the Silversteins WIN at Daylight Savings. Now we can begin the season of eating dinner in the backyard and not feeling depressed because you're in your pajamas at 5pm in the dark. Cheers to spring!

Blogging from my iPhone - because that's the only way to make it happen these days

I suck, I know. Looks like this may be more of a monthly check-in kind of deal now. Anyway...

I'm not exactly an early adopter of new technology. I know that everything gets better and less expensive of you wait. The iPhone never did it for me frankly. Until Mike got an older model somewhat recently and I discovered the awesomeness of apps.

So when my Blackberry died on me it was time to get a new phone. I was eligible for an upgrade and it turned out that one of my best options was the iPhone 4 which I could get for the same price or less as another Blackberry. So I ditched one fruit for another, and I'm never going back! Look, I can take fun pictures like these:

Enough about my iPhone. What's up with you? I've been busy developing my business, and the blessing of being unemployed is that I can work on it full time while also still looking for a job (siiiigh) and wrangling the litter. It's been an amazing several months, and I about to launch a newly redesigned blog and website! The jobs just keep coming, for which I am also blessed and I'm learning so much and getting better (I think) with every single shoot.

Life on the homefront is status quo. Ivy is doing great at school, and giving us a run for our money at home. But she's still as hilarious as ever. Sidney is doing remarkably well in the sleep department...for him, not so much for us. He practically jumps into the crib at 6:30pm and then stays down for up to 11 hours! Fantastic! Except that means 5:30 wake up calls for us (and 5:30 is really generous...this past week we were seeing a lot of clock digits with 4's), so exhaustion wins again!

There is a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, since we do have some fun trips planned this year. Mike and I are taking a vacation at the end of April to visit our friends in North Carolina SANS CHILDREN! (Thank you frequent flier miles, even though we don't really fly that frequently!) I read somewhere that if your children come, it's a family trip. If they don't, it's a vacation. I'm so happy this a vacation because we haven't had one in over 4 years. Our little nephew/cousin Isaac turns 1 in May so we'll be celebrating with him in Mountain View. And later in the summer we'll take a family trip (see? kids involved) to Boston to visit Mike's family and a bunch of friends who are there. It's never too early to mentally (and physically) prepare for a cross country flight with 2 kids, so please keep me in your thoughts.

Okay - battery is running low here and my fingers are tired. See ya in March - LOL!

Old Year/New Year

In with the old, and out with the new. See how this year is going to kick last year's ass:

OLD YEAR - I slacked on the blogging.

NEW YEAR - I shall be better at blogging. And now I have an iPhone so I can blog on the go!

OLD - Got laid off. Looked for jobs to no avail.

NEW - Will land a job...so that my photography business can be what it was intended to be, a side job. 

OLD - Overwhelmed by life (see above) to the point that I would literally walk in circles around my house noticing random things that needed to be done/put away/thrown away but couldn't actually do anything about it.

NEW - Create a system for being more organized and productive. Let me know if you know how I can do this.

OLD - WAY too many mornings of preschool drop off in glorified pajamas. Stacy and Clinton would not approve.
NEW - I will get dressed in the morning like a proper person.

OLD - Used the excuse of "I'm still nursing" to get away with eating whatever I wanted.

NEW - I'm still nursing, but the end may be in sight so it's back to the treadmill...oh by the way, we got one for our house. Mike won a raffle for a Best Buy gift card, so we put it towards a manual fold up one. Sweet. And while I will still be baking and making ice cream, I'm really going to try to cut back on sweets...at least those consumed before 10am. (First thing I put in my mouth this morning was a brownie. Don't judge.)

OLD - Said I was going to run a half marathon, when in reality I think I can count the number of times I went running on one hand and still have a couple fingers left over.

NEW - Run a 10K. That's more realistic.

OLD - Extreme Grouponing!
NEW - I've unsubscribed from just about every email I'm on. It was taking WAY too long to go through them all each day, and I really wasn't buying anything anymore. Even though I only bought things I knew I would use anyway, it's money better put towards preschool and food. So I will rely on Facebook and the couple daily digest of deals emails I'm on. I'll be extreme in other ways.

OLD - Took lots of pictures.

NEW - Take lots of pictures but be in more of them.

Not bad for my first stab at blogging in the '12, eh? 

March 11 can't come fast enough

The good news - my least favorite day of the year is over. The bad news - many more shorter days ahead, until December 21, when we can then add precious minutes to each day again. I freakin' HATE the end of Daylight Savings Time. Boo! Hiss! I live in a binary world where dark equals stay indoors and go to bed. I need the sun to keep me awake and warm. This dark at 5pm nonsense just doesn't cut it. I feel like a blob in my sweats when I have no desire to leave the house and it's not even dinner time.

Yesterday was a miserable excuse for a day. It wasn't just that the kids were up before 6am, but Sidney did not have a good night and we woke up to cold and rain and had to schlep to ballet class and a birthday party. All day Mike and I kept looking at each other and the clock wondering when it would all end. After a quick afternoon errand outing, we came home fed and bathed the kids, and 7pm bedtime (for them) could not come fast enough. We each downed a glass of wine, watched some TV, and bundled up to end the Day That Would Never End. (It rolled seamlessly into the Night That Would Never End, but that's a topic for another post.)

So to get myself through these dark, cold times, I decided to put together a Top 5 List of Things That Make Winter (and yes, if I have to wear thick fuzzy socks I call this winter) Suck a Little Less. Because there are no trips to Hawaii any time soon.

5. SWEATERS - This would be more aptly titled Winter Wear, since in addition to cozy, snuggly sweaters, I also love scarves and tights and tall boots. And my Uggs. I adore my Uggs. I wish I could sleep in them. I actually don't own as many sweaters as I once did, but when I have income again I plan to change that. Tights are easy to obsess over because they're cheap - Target has amazing ones. And scarves are really more for show than warmth, but I love them all the same. If my body has to suffer through the frigid LA winter (shut up) I may as well look good and feel warm.

4. SOUP - I love soup. And to be clear, soup is not exclusively for fall and winter. I enjoy soup year-round. But yesterday was the perfect day for it - it was cold and rainy, we were exhausted and feeling a little blue, so I whipped up a quick pot of mushroom barley soup. Mmm. This week I'm also going to make curried carrot and parsnip and creamy potato with kale. One pot meals rule!

3. FLAVORS - Two words: gingerbread and peppermint. The gingerbread one is a bit puzzling to me since I actively hate ginger. Like with a passion. But I make exception for gingerbread cookies (especially if they have cute frosting and candy decorations) and gingerbread lattes at Starbucks. And peppermint is a year-round love, but winter brings out peppermint ice cream and chocolate covered peppermint Joe-Joe's at Trader Joe's, otherwise known as crack. They are like peppermint oreos, but with more crack. And THEN they mix the ice cream and the cookies and sell peppermint Joe-Joe ice cream, causing me to have to apologize to the treadmill when I go to gym.

2. CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR'S - Yes, I'm the nice Jewish girl who loves Christmas. I mean, obviously not for the religious part nor do I condone the hyper-consumerism that tends to overshadow the aforementioned religious meaning. But I love sparkly things and bells and the color red and the smell of pine trees and twinkling lights and...okay, so really I just want to do Christmas crafts. There, I said it. And the arrival of Pinterest into my life isn't making my obsession any better. And movies! I love Christmas movies! Well, really only the comedies...seriously, stick me in front of the TBS 24 hour CHRISTMAS STORY marathon or CHRISTMAS VACATION (c'mon, we all need a little more Griswold in our lives) and I'm a happy camper. But I will refrain from the winter confusion that Jewish kids often experience here in secular/Christian America and stick to dreidels and stuff. Whatev.

And for all you New Year's haters out there, I say you're wrong. It's an excuse to get dressed up and go out and do something fun...I realize the irony in my saying that, given that 2 out of the last 3 NYE I've been asleep by 10pm, but in theory I love the holiday. Our friends got married on NYE (best idea EVER!), and in the BC era (Before Children) I was always known to find something fun to do instead of sit around and bemoan that I have no plans and it's just a night where you look at the clock, blah blah blah. That's what people who have no plans say. This year, NYE is Saturday night and we have babysitting (thanks Grandma and Grandpa!), so I'm determined to do something awesome. Stay tuned.

1. MY BIRTHDAY - Otherwise known as Everything Goes on Sale Day! I mean, the MALL celebrates with me, amazing right?! I can stock up on the aforementioned sweaters and boots and sparkly things, and that's a celebration in itself. Mark your calendars - December 26 - and let me know if you will also be in need of retail therapy after this hellacious year. I know I will be.

Stay warm!

Can we rewind and talk about Sukkot?

I've decided that Sukkot is officially my favorite Jewish holiday. I have always, or least since moving to LA, loved the holiday, one that was often overlooked growing up because by the time Yom Kippur was over it was back to "normal". There was one at my synagogue but the rotting fruit and fading paper chains that hung from it were far from appealing. It was only in recent years that I kind of became obsessed. In fact, we've been known to shamelessly invite ourselves over to people's homes for dinner just to be able to sit (and eat) in their sukkahs when we lived in an apartment and didn't have our own. I had a bad case of sukkah envy. I think it's because I really love fall - even though in LA fall lasts about a week, and Sukkot almost always is during an Indian summer. I did live in New England for 3 years, so I have a true appreciation for the season. And there's something terribly romantic and soothing about eating outside...I do have an obsession with patio furniture, remember? 

When we moved into this house with a real backyard, the first thing I thought to myself was "Now we can build a sukkah!" (And then I marveled that we had our own washer/dryer...a close second to a yard big enough for a sukkah.) Well that first year proved to be more difficult that I imagined...we had less than pleasant neighbors with whom we shared the yard (despite them being Jewish, I'm sure they would have tattled on us to the management company for cluttering the yard or something), and I found out that they're not exactly cheap. We did not have $300+ kicking around, so I spent the fall of 2009 in major sukkah-lust.

And we all know what happened last year during Sukkot...! Suffice to say my pregnant and bed-rest state put me in no position to build a sukkah, and it turns out I missed half the holiday anyway. Too bad because the record breaking heat last year would have made for so many perfect outdoor meals. But I happen to think it's so cool that Sidney's Hebrew birthday is the first day of Sukkot...all the more reason to love the holiday. That, and the fact that we got to have his bris in a sukkah...couldn't have scripted it more perfectly.

So now we get to this year. I was determined to make it happen, come hell or high water. But if we didn't have $300 kicking around 2 years ago, we certainly don't have it this year...so I was trying to be creative about how we could do it on the cheap.

And then I saw it...finally, my Extreme Grouponing was really paying off. A daily deal for a sukkah kit!!! But still, it was $175...hmm. I posted the deal on Facebook with a call out to anyone who might want to share the cost (and rights to using the sukkah too, of course), and my friend Sara (love you!!!) saved the day. Or, rather, saved Sukkot...

Birthright Israel NEXT was offering sukkah grants to any birthright alum who wanted to build a sukkah, for up to $200!!! Faster than you can say "schach", I had that application filled out, submitted and approved. Best Sukkot EVER - a free sukkah!

The deal was bought, and after some minorly-shady business transactions with a lovely man named Yehuda (he had me write the check for the delivery fee out to CASH...), we had all the pieces in our yard about 12 hours after the most rockin' Yom Kippur in history. The exuberance from neilah and the break fast spilled over into the next day and we built ourselves one amazing sukkah.

Daddy's little helper...

Mike was a naysayer before this all happened...and when he saw how easy it was to assemble he quickly converted over to Team Sukkah and got really into it. We loved shouting "schach!!" as we piled discard palm branches onto the top (which I collected from the green landscape recycle bins in our alley, just like a real Pico/Robertson Jew!), and both kids were just mesmerized. And then the real fun began - decorating and meal planning. I went a little overboard with my ambition, including a failed decoration project and more meal invitations than I could possible follow through with. But it was worth it...we ate every meal outdoors, and I could not have been happier. They don't call it the Season of our Joy for nothing.

How could you not feel warm and fuzzy sitting in here?

I just love this temporary dwelling so much (or the tent in the backyard as Mike's boss called it). In fact, I can't bear to take it down...the holiday has been over for more than a week, and it's still standing. Well, really because we haven't had time, though I'm still a little wistful about having to pack it up. But it is temporary - like everything - and we have a whole year ahead of us of new challenges and joy before next fall when we force ourselves out of the comfort of our home yet again.

The blog is going private

Too many creepers out there...there's been some sketchy activity and I have to protect myself and my kids. But I still want to share stories from my life and photos, so I will give you permission to continue following if I know you, or if you can tell me through whom you found the blog...I know there are friends of friends that follow, but I need to verify your source. Leave your email in the Comments section, or email/message me directly.

Thanks!

Fastest year EVER

And just as quickly as he charged into our lives, Sidney turned 1.

WHAT?!

Ivy's first year felt like, well, a year. Sidney's felt more like, oh, 20 minutes. I remember exactly this time last year when I was a nervous wreck, just trying to keep him inside through High Holy Days. And then he arrived, and our world was changed. He is the absolute light of my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Here is my birthday letter to him:

Sidney-

On your first birthday, I wish you many more days and years of curiosity, adventure and love. May you find many more cords, wire hangers, and remote controls to play with...just don't hurt yourself. May you learn to stand up for yourself when Ivy loves you just a little too hard and you fall down. And may you continue to make me smile and my heart burst every time you walk into a room. I love you so much and have so much more I could say, but frankly I'm too tired. (And may you also learn to sleep past 4am.)

Love you,
Mommy

Does he know how to rock 1, or what?

There's always a silver lining - will shoot for food!

I've often pondered the idea of taking my photography to the next level. I love taking pictures, I do a decent job at it, and it would be a great way to earn a some much-needed cash. But I have a few problems with the idea.

1. I know I’m not a pro, and I don’t want to insult those who are. I would never pretend like you’re going to get something professional-quality because frankly this is my hobby...I wish I could dedicate my every day to this and learn more techniques, spend more time editing, buy top of the line equipment, etc. And professionals cost what they do for a reason - they spend a lot of time on the photos, between traveling to shoots, taking the photos, editing them, and printing them, not to mention the cost of their camera equipment, editing software, and other supplies. I would be offering something much less expensive, but again I have no desire to drive the market down (not that a few measly photo shoots by me would do that, but it’s the principle). And even if my work was professional quality, I would essentially be shooting myself in the foot with the low price I would charge.

2. I don’t want to come off as one of those people who’s like “Oooh, I have DSLR so OBVIOUSLY I’m qualified to have my own photo business!” I mean, I never shoot on auto, I know my aperature from my ISO, and I’m pretty good at getting the best white balance for a shot. But still...just because I have a nice camera, a bunch of lenses, and a speedlight doesn’t mean I’m any better than the average mom with the same equipment and hobby. Nothing wrong with just being a momtographer!

3. I’d feel weird charging people I know money. It’s just awkward, mixing business and friendship. But maybe I need to get over that...and if I don’t know you, I’ll accept cash or check! Besides, my time isn’t exactly free - I have a lot of things to do, so unfortunately I can’t really give too much of my spare hours away for nothing, even though I love taking pictures.

All this being said, I thought I had found a happy medium. My dad is also a photographer, and the person from whom I inherited my love for this pastime. You could call him an advanced amateur but really he’s semi-pro. It’s not his primary profession, but he does get a lot of jobs as a photographer. And he doesn’t even always get paid in cash. He’s much more of a fan of the barter system. That’s right. Bartering.

I couldn’t even begin to count the number of free meals my family has eaten in Little Italy or how many pounds of brisket live in my parents’ freezer thanks to my dad’s photos. He’s shot weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, and nearly every family event for the Bussalaccis.

When my friend Kitt asked me to take some photos of her family, I decided this was it. So it is with minimal fanfare that I announce the commencement of my photography “business” - Silver Lining Photos (like my last name, get it?). I am available pretty much only on Sundays (and weekdays, until I start working again full time) and I like most foods...I’m kosher, mostly vegetarian, have a serious sweet tooth, and usually available for Shabbat dinner. Oh, and Mike and I need a date night...have I mentioned how wonderful my kids are to babysit for?

Here’s what you’ll get - some really nice pictures. And it will be affordable...not to take aim at pros (again, for the most part I think their prices are fair, but we are living in a DIY age), but we all know that professional pictures are not in everyone’s budget. I do have prices, but I will also barter...in fact I've already done a family shoot in exchange for a night of babysitting!

Take a look - I can't believe I'm doing this! http://silverliningphotosbykim.blogspot.com

It really IS the most wonderful time of the year! Sort of...

Back to school always reminds me of the Staples commercials where the guy would ride through the store on a shopping cart with the Christmas carol "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" playing in the background. Yes, yes it is. Ivy's 6 week break ended this morning as we both happily shipped her back to preschool. The whole vacation thing was really starting to wear on me, and her. She loves structure and was so excited to be back with her friends and teachers. Cause for celebration, and I did with my friends next door at Bloom for breakfast. The only thing missing was mimosas. Oh well, maybe next year.

Truth is, it was a bittersweet day. I was a little wistful that my big girl is now in the older kids' class at school (where has the time gone? etc) but it will be nice not having to scramble for childcare when I have work to do. Which is where I start to really get bummed out. Despite my numerous consulting gigs and projects that I'm juggling, I'm still technically unemployed. And while I'm certainly as busy as someone working full time, I don't have much to show for it my bank account and that's troubling. I had hoped today would be a fresh start for both Ivy and I - school for her and a job for me. But alas... I've gotta land something soon, or else...well, I'm trying not to think about it.

At least now that I have a specific period of time during the day in which I can focus, I am really working to get my photo stuff up and running. I hope that will be my next post, as early as next week even. It just takes time, and I keep getting distracted by other things. Clearly self-employment is not for me in the long run.

So when I need to get out of the house to be free from home distractions I head to Paper or Plastic, or IKAR satellite office as it has become. I always see people I know there, and today I threw all productivity out the window because of it. First, I find myself sitting next to an Obama dead-ringer...who turns out to be an Obama impersonator. Fascinating. He was really cool, and actually from Chicago too. And then my heart went all a-flutter when my Food Network hero walked in the door - can you say Aarti Party?! Since I have no shame, I went right up to her and said I was a huge fan. Hugging and laughing ensued, and we were old friends by the time she left. Needless to say, I got nothing done from that point on during my first day "back to work." Oh well, that's what tomorrow is for.

I should have worn makeup today, and not a shirt that makes me look pregnant...

Sid, meanwhile is now running all over the house and I don't know how he gets cuter by the day, but he does. The big birthday is coming up, and my head is already swimming with all the baking and decorating projects I'm going to have. I could not be more excited, and also in utter disbelief that we're closing in on a year. Poof - gone in a flash!

I have no clever title for this post

Ivy's summer vacation is a little more than half way over, and so far we've been having a great time. Man, I miss the days when I had a summer break. You know what else I miss? Meal plans. Not dorm food itself, per se, but just showing up somewhere, swiping a card, and someone else has prepared food for you to eat. But I digress...

Anyway, it's been an interesting month. Sid has started walking, which still blows my mind because Ivy didn't start until 14 months, so I was a bit caught off guard. I shouldn't have been since he had been showing signs for a while, but I swear we cannot baby proof fast enough. Also, different from Ivy, he still does a lot of starting and stopping. Walks a few steps, falls, crawls, maybe gets up to try again. When Ivy started she just stood up one day, took a couple practice steps, and then was off and walking. Sid is perfecting the art, apparently. It's adorable because he totally does the Frankenstein waddle. And yesterday he turned 11 months (I have a sticker pic but I'm too lazy to upload at the moment). Again, disbelief over here that the next monthly milestone is his friggin' FIRST BIRTHDAY! Party planning has kicked into full gear.

Ivy spent a week at Camp Rogoff - aka my parents' house. It was grand. She went to dance camp from 9am-1pm everyday and boogied her little tush off. There was even a little recital at the end for the families. Wow, did I cry. It was so cute. She was the littlest one in the class and spent most of the performance waving to me in the audience. They did three dances, and there's video of one below. When she wasn't at camp, Nana took her swimming, made all her favorite foods, and Papa even took her on her first visit to Chuck E. Cheese. Better him than me...

Note to self - maybe not the greatest idea to sit in the front row...

We also had a great week with Grandma, during which Ivy went to the park, a Dodgers game, and the Peterson Auto Museum. All big hits. And speaking of hits, that week for me was marred by an unfortunate car accident, leaving us with one car for the week (in LA, this is akin to going without showering). Thank god, everyone was okay - I was alone in the car, no kids, and some dude turned left in front me and stopped in the middle of the intersection, not giving me an opportunity to avoid him. Fortunately insurance is putting the liability on him, and let me tell you dealing with all of that was no picnic. I was also fortunate to have several friends drive by (since we were all on the way to the same breakfast meeting) so they stopped and helped me out. Made all the difference, but still put a damper on my week. Now I'm driving a Rogoff Rental from my parents and Ivy is thrilled to pieces with her new car seat. So it all worked out, and I'm very lucky to say the least.

Lest we forget, on the job front, I'm still pounding the pavement for that perfect (or least decent) full time gig and that process still totally sucks, BUT I have found something interesting to do in the meantime and then hopefully in addition to whatever job I end up finding. I'm a Local Business Consultant for Juice in the City, a daily deal site by moms for moms and families! Shocking, you say? Working for a daily deal site? Woulda never imagined it! Well, it's perfect for me (I am the Extreme Grouponer, remember?), and I already have my first list of proposed vendors approved so time to start hitting them up! It's perfect because it's not a huge time commitment and the idea is that I'm sourcing businesses that I already frequent. I'll keep you posted on my progress as I make my first foray into the world of sales... If you're so inclined to help me out, please sign up for the daily deal emails. And if you're interested in applying to be an LBC, talk to me - I would love to refer you!

And finally, I'm almost ready to unveil my long-awaited other part-time on-the-side gig...just putting finishing touches on the new blog. Here's a hint - it has to do with photos. Again, shocking right?

Signing off for now - I promise to try to post again before Sid turns the big 1.

42 Days of Summer

Even though it’s officially been summer for a while now, it’s only just kicking into high gear today. Ivy is off school until September 12...that means 42 whole days of vacation! I’ll be interested to see how she does, because she loves structure and her friends and teachers. But I know she’ll also appreciate the downtime and relaxed schedule, not having to run out the door in the mornings and then be cranky at dinner time when she normally gets home. Mike and I created the Master Calendar for the next 6 weeks, figuring out various childcare plans (since we both have to work) and other activities. I’m grateful that I can be flexible this month but I still have tons to do, so it will be an interesting balance.

We have a bunch of great activities planned, starting with today - going to see Ivy’s first movie, Winnie the Pooh! We’ll also be hitting up the beach, crashing as many pools as we can, and she’ll be spending a week with Mike’s mom here and a week with my parents in San Diego where she’ll also go to a dance camp. And we’ll hopefully hit up the LA County Fair...what fried item should I get this year? I gotta start thinking about that. Of course, there will be lots of down time, too, hanging out at home and in the backyard just playing.

Not to be outdone, Sid is also awesome these days, of course. He can stand unassisted and is moments away from his first steps. He sees something he wants to go after and propels himself forward, only he hasn’t figured out how to lift his feet to do it! It’s so cool to watch. Ivy, who started walking MUCH later than this, just sort of stood up and started walking one day. I like watching Sid try to figure this out in baby steps, as they say.

It’s also hard to believe that in less than 2 short months, he will be turning ONE. What?! Yeah, I know. I’m already starting to plan his birthday party...oh, who am I kidding? I started planning months ago. I feel like there are 2 camps when it comes to first (or any age) birthdays - those who avoid the parties because they kid won’t know the difference (though I beg to differ) and those who throw bashes in celebration of the kid and the parents...because let’s be honest, WE are the ones who kept him alive for the past year! And if you’re Sid that’s not always a small task. He can be in a room full of toys and he’ll speed across the room to find the one teeny-tiny bead that fell off Ivy’s necklace and attempt to put it straight down the hatch. Just yesterday he was splashing his hands in the kiddie pool set up in the backyard and he ended up diving in head first. Fortunately we scooped him right out, and he was less than fazed.

Here’s to summer and not going totally bonkers without school! It’ll be the ultimate test of sanity...for all of us!

Why the Jumperoo made me cry

An important milestone occurred in our house a few weeks ago. No, Sid isn't walking yet (though he probably will be soon) or sporting any teeth. I did something I had been dreading and resisting forever.

I got rid of a piece of baby gear.

This was a dramatic moment for me, as it was a tangible acknowledgement that we will likely not have any more kids. Granted it was just the Jumperoo, which neither kid used that much anyway, but still... I've only given away some baby clothes to little Isaac because I know they'll stay in the family should we ever need them again. But the Jumperoo now lives with the Rauchers in North Carolina. Judah was happily bouncing away in it at our house a few weeks ago and Tamar asked me about buying one. I told her not to spend the money because they were more expensive than they were worth (but of course, I had some crazy coupon discount for mine getting it for less than half the regular price). Then she offered to buy mine since their moving van was coming the next day.

I froze. I seriously did not want to give it away, even for a little bit of money. I turned down the offer at first, actually, thinking "What if we have a third kid? It won't have a Jumperoo!" After stewing on it over dinner, I came to the conclusion that if we can ever afford to have a third we will also be able to afford to buy a new Jumperoo, or not get one at all (again, Silverstein babies aren't too into them...this logic may or may not be inspiring me to also get rid of the swing, which currently resides in my parents garage). So off it went into the Rauchers' moving van and Judah is currently jumping away happily in North Carolina. I miss them...

As hard as this was to do, it helped ground me in the reality that we will likely be a 2-kid family. Nothing wrong with that at ALL. I am so grateful for Ivy and Sidney who are the most amazing gifts and if for whatever reason I can't or choose to not have more, I don't feel that I am at all missing anything. BUT. Mike and I always talked about wanting three...of course, before we even had 1 and realized now that having 3 would make us certifiably insane. However, everyone says going from 1 to 2 is more difficult than 2 to 3, and we also know families gracefully managing 4, but that's just crazy talk.

And the reality is we are barely even equipped to handle 2, and a hypothetical number 3 would be in a LONG time anyway, IF we can afford it and IF we want to jump back into starting over with another baby. Every time I see a squishy little newborn (as I do often since many of my friends are all reproducing at the moment) I want another one. It's also a really selfish desire because I want a do-over from my pregnancy with Sid. I want an easy, uncomplicated pregnancy and an easy birth (my doctor is totally supportive of VBACs). Again, I acknowledge that this is selfish, and even out of my control, but I want to officially close off the uterus happily and on my ideal terms. I just can't bear the thought of saying definitively, at 32, that I am done. Time will tell, my friends, but don't expect any announcements soon. And I'm not getting rid of anything else for the time being either.

In other news, things are busy and hectic around here and we're geared up for summer. I am now officially a Schlepping Mom, as I take Ivy to not one but 2 "extracurricular" classes each week - dancing (birthday present from Mike's parents) and swimming (from mine). Both are quite amusing. Dance class is a HUGE hit. She's been waiting for this for almost a year. She loves the leotards and the tights and the shoes, and she practices her poses and positions around the house all the time. As Mike commented, Black Swan she aint (crappy movie, by the way) but she's enthusiastic. More like a clumsy chicken, but whatever. It's adorable. And she's enjoying swimming too. We have her signed up for semi-private lessons but she's the only kid at her time slot so it's private at a fraction of the cost. Score! Hopefully by summer's end she'll be more comfortable and confident in the water so we can enjoy crashing the neighbor's pool on Shabbat afternoons and at my parents' community pool.

So, have I mentioned that I'm really into daily deal sites? My friend Rebecca is really into Extreme Couponing on TLC (as impressive as it is to get 47268494 boxes of Cheerios for $1, where the hell would I put them?), and this makes think I need to pitch my own show to TLC - Extreme Grouponing. I seriously need Groupon therapy…I’m totally addicted. I get probably 25 emails a day with deals. It’s nuts. But as I’ve mentioned before it’s been a great way to buy or do stuff we otherwise wouldn’t really be able to afford. And, I’m so Extreme that when I refer other people to the deals, I usually get credit and then end up getting deals for FREE! Brilliant! I love free! Spread the love peeps – buy through me, then repost yourself and you too can get free stuff!

Speaking of free stuff, I’m also on an email list that sends you consumer surveys. They’re usually pretty quick and I like to share my opinion as a consumer, so I’ve racked up money that way too…cash them in for Amazon gift cards, and that’s MORE free stuff! Madness, I tell you! This is now living in my home, that I got free:How have I lived this long without an ice cream maker?! It’s divine. Not exactly helpful for keeping the weight off, but it’s summer so nightly ice cream is practically mandated. Oh who am I kidding? Ice cream is non-seasonal in my book.

And finally, I am so relieved to report that after 3 months of sleep training, Sid is finally sleeping through the night. I realize as I type this I am probably jinxing it, but who cares - I'm more rested than I've been in almost a year. Almost enough to forget how exhausting it is to have a baby and want another one...just kidding.

Road Trip Success, and Ivy turned 3

Forgive my super lameness - I just can't get my act together to update this thing. I am SO friggin' tired (more on that in a minute), and I'm quite busy doing some part time consulting while I look for a full time job. And I'm raising 2 kids, and cooking dinner, and...and...and. You know the drill.

Anyway, it's been a busy month+ since I last updated. The first exciting piece of news is the arrival of one Isaac William Black, born to Erica and Adam on May 20! We were beyond thrilled to hear the news, and were on pins and needles all day waiting for details. The timing was perfect because we were able to load up the Silverstein family truckster and drive up to Mountain View for the bris the following week.

We had heard various pieces of advice as to how we should tackle the drive. Due to a work conflict the night before the bris, we had no choice but to get up before dawn and hit the road at 5am. It was perfect. Both kids were super mellow as the sun was rising, and there was no traffic in sight (especially awesome for the Friday of Memorial Day weekend). We cruised up the Grapevine, making one stop for potty and one stop for a late breakfast, bringing us to Mountain View before noon. We hustled over to meet little Isaac, and then prepared for the bris. It was a beautiful ceremony and we so happy to have been there.

I'm an Aunt!

Little Cousin, Big Cousin!

The rest of the weekend was awesome - lots of parks, good food, and quality family time. We hit the road late Sunday afternoon, and the trip back was slightly more challenging the drive up. Crankiness was escalated, it was harder to fall asleep, we had to detour through San Bernardino, etc. But we made it home safe and sound in time to start gearing up for Ivy's 3rd birthday.

Yes, my baby turned 3. I'm still sort of in shock. The first year was all about milestones and getting to that one year mark. The second year was a blur, largely due to my pregnancy with Sid. But the third year was eye-opening. She went from being a baby to a person. A person who speaks in full sentences and sings songs in Hebrew and tells jokes. It's astounding. We were so blessed to have a week-long birthday celebration, starting with a huge party co-hosted by 2 of Ivy's friends with the same birthday. There were bubbles and bagels galore, and we had a blast. We also went to Disneyland, where Ivy was obsessed with finding Snow White (no other characters would do) and both she and Sid got to enjoy some rides. It was a magical day...just the way those folks at Disney intended it to be!

Count 'em - three!

Now that the various celebrations are over, we're back to normal...whatever that is. We've been working on Sid's sleeping, and he's made some minor improvements but we're still tired. He's also crawling like a maniac, and here's how it's different from Ivy: I remember her crawling around with no particular destination in mind, but maybe that's because we lived in a small apartment and she didn't have far to go. Sid, on the other hand, goes straight for cords, outlets, and anything potentially dangerous. He can spot something chokeable a mile away and get there in a flash. This is going to be crazy. We never had to babyproof for Ivy because it would never occur to get into things she shouldn't. Heck, I could leave an open bottle of Tylenol out on the floor, and she wouldn't even notice. But not this guy - we're going to have buckle down and keep him alive!

I'm really happy that summer is here - as soon as this June gloom clears up, we'll be in business! We have so much that we want to do that we had to start a spreadsheet to keep track. And I hope to be back on here more, lest I disappoint my handful of faithful followers. See ya on the flip side!

Cancun it was not - spring break recap

The last few weeks have been exhausting. As if the whole ordeal of Passover (nonstop cleaning and cooking for 8 days) isn’t enough, throw in preschool spring break AND a visit from Mike’s parents and you’ve got yourself a whirlwind week! Actually, it was a lot of fun. And having Mike’s mom around was an enormous help while I tended to my job hunting and other work projects...she kept Ivy quite entertained. I swear, a new toy or book or sticker appeared every hour on the hour! Sidney also had a lot of fun hanging out with Grandma. We had a great field trip to Underwood Farms where many strawberries were picked. Mike’s dad joined us for the latter half of the holiday, and we had even more outings - Red Sox game, MOCA, to name a few.

After all was said and done and everyone was back in their respective homes, preschools, and day cares by the end of last week, I damn near fell apart. I was beyond tired - and of course my back and neck were acting up again. Add to that Sidney’s sleep training (going decently well, save a failed attempt at a dream feed) and Ivy waking up with the roosters every morning.

Oh, and there’s emotional exhaustion too...trying to find a job sucks. It really does. And I’ve had some decent leads and prospects, but nothing has bitten yet. Granted it’s only been a month, but I’m getting antsy, despite my mile-long to-do list of other projects. When I’m too beat to accomplish anything, I get down on myself and then feel guilty that at least if I’m not getting anything done I should be spending more time with the kids. It’s a never-ending cycle of second-guessing and regret, follow by bursts of inspiration and motivation, and back again.

And I’m getting worried. Paying for preschool was hard enough when we were both employed... Fortunately, Mike recently got a small raise at work, but that doesn’t exactly cover the gap of my missing income. There has GOT to be something out there for me. We still dream of taking a vacation, or at least a weekend getaway, if we were able to be out of the woods for more than 5 minutes.

What was I saying about being exhausted?

Anyway, life is good otherwise. We are enjoying the impending commencement of summer. Yesterday we went to the beach and enjoyed yummy sunny weather (albeit quite windy which did not bode well for our umbrellas). And in the evening, after the kids were in bed, I went out for a run in the last minutes of daylight which lasted til almost 8pm. Bliss.

We are also on pins and needles waiting for the arrival of Baby Black, who could be making his debut any day now. We’re so excited!

Here are a few photo highlights of what we’ve been up to - an attempt to make up for my recent extended absence from the blogosphere. Oh, and I’m still working on that special project I mentioned last time. I’ll get to it...one of these days!

Ivy and her fellow migrant workers, er...friends

Onion picking fail!

April 23 - 7 months!

Gooooo Sox!

Where are YOUR matching monkey jammies?

Ivy channels her inner artist at MOCA

Santa Monica pier for the last day of break

I'm still here, I swear

My bad. I cannot believe it's been a month since my last entry...well I can, sort of. The short version is that I got laid off from my job (we all did - sadly, the organization had to suspend all operations) and I swear I have never been busier. When did I have time to work? Not only am I job hunting and meeting with people about jobs and doing odd jobs, but I am also trying to keep the house running. I have done oodles of loads of laundry and dishes, and only some cooking. I have not been bored or without something to do for the last 2 weeks, not even blog!

BUT - don't worry friends, I'll be back soon. And in fact, I've been doing a lot of work on some stuff that I'm excited to share along with a big, and timely, announcement. No, I'm not pregnant again. Get your mind out of that place. Now.

Until then - hopefully before Pesach - I have to give a shout out to Bill and Carin on the arrival of their beautiful baby boy. Mini Folman came into the world last Friday, and I had the privilege of meeting him yesterday. Fun times are in store for him and Sidney.

See you soon!

"Spring cleaning" my brain - coming out of blog hibernation

I've been slacking on the blog front recently, but for good reasons...I'm a full-time working mom of 2, remember? I've also been intentionally stepping away from the laptop in the evenings, when I'm not doing work (which I do have to do a bit each night) or editing photos, with the goals of a) trying to earn a little bit of extra money by doing some grantwriting (and other projects - I'm pimping myself out people, so send stuff my way, rates negotiable!) and b) trying to read more. I'm in a book club now, so I gotta get my reading on, know what I'm saying? Right now I'm reading Cutting for Stone, and it's excellent. It's also about 800 pages long and I have to finish it before our meeting in 4 days. I also have been getting terrible headaches by day's end, since I stare at a computer screen all day. And if I'm going to stare at a screen when I get home, it better be something funny like THE OFFICE or mindnumbing like JERSEY SHORE. So this is just a quick update to let you know that all is still well.

Mike and I finally settled on a weeknight schedule and rhythm for getting done what needs to be done (big shout out to the ECC hot lunches that started this week, meaning 2 fewer nights that we have to make Ivy a lunch!), and it even includes going to the gym. My nights are Tuesdays (spinning) and Wednesdays (pilates). This has been critical to ensuring that I'm doing exercise at all, though with my favorite day of the year coming up this weekend (duh, Daylight Savings!) I will be able to do some evening running as well. It's high time I start working on that new year's resolution...

I had a successful get away with my sister-in-law Erica on the infamous Cruise to Nowhere. I missed being with the littles, but it was nice to be free for a night. I drank fruity cocktails, sat in the jacuzzi, and got dressed up for dinner...a far cry from what I wear to dinner most nights. Erica and I had lots and lots of laughs...you would not believe some of the rubes that were on this ship, and we weren't even going anywhere! That and the awful rock and roll tribute show...though to call it a tribute it really quite generous. I brought my pump, and had the ship staff a bit confused as to why I needed to periodically get into my fridge bag over the course of the evening. I slept 8 hours, uninterrupted, and overall felt quite refreshed. Then it seemed that the moment I walked in the door at home, my back started hurting again and it was chaos trying to wrangle the kids. So much for feeling refreshed!

Don't try this at home...

Speaking of my back, I've been complaining about it long enough, so back to the doctor I went. She quickly deduced that a lot of the upper back tension and pain I'm feeling is likely from stress...big shock there. So I've been working on managing my stress, and lo and behold I'm feeling a lot better. That and my weekly pilates. I never had ballerina posture to begin with, but improving that is also helping. Slow and steady...

A couple weekends ago, we had a "blind" play date with a friend from my mommy message board. She was someone that I knew lived in LA, and we've "known" each other for a couple years now. She has 2 sweet little girls, one of whom is exactly Ivy's age and the other who just turned 1. We finally decided it was time to meet in person, so I bit the bullet and gave out my address to a complete stranger on the internet. My instincts were good on this one, and we had a very nice afternoon with our new friends. Ivy and Lu jumped around laughing and made muffins. It was super cute and really nice to meet some new people.

Then this past weekend, Ivy came down with a 24-hour bug of some sort. She woke up and was a little off, but we figured she was just a little tired. She got to gym class and as we sat down for circle time, I realized she was burning up. I whisked her off the floor and into the car, where I settled her on the couch with a sippy cup of apple juice and a Dora marathon (Who's brilliant idea was it to DVR episodes? Yup, mine!) while we waited for the Tylenol to work its magic reducing her 102 fever. Poor thing. She got to stay home from school on Monday, even though she was mostly fine by then and we had a fun, relaxing day together. I'm so glad that so far Sidney has managed to stay healthy...but believe me, Ivy was NOT happy about not being allowed to touch or kiss him while she was sick. She cried...a lot. "I WANNA HUG MY SINNY-BOY!" Love.

Purim is coming up, and once again Mike and I find ourselves at a loss for costume ideas. We really set the bar way too high 3 years ago. My only idea is to dress up as pregnant. (What, too soon?!) But while we try to figure it out, Ivy announced that she would not be going as a cupcake (at least she wore it once on Halloween so it wasn't a complete waste) and wanted to be a flamingo. I thought this was hilarious:

but I'm not about to drop that much money so off to the craft store we go! I see lots of pink feather boas in my future. I never knew I would attempt to be so crafty!

That's about it for now. Mike goes out of town next week for work, so it's Nana to the rescue! We may attempt some light sleep training, but this little boy has got me wrapped around his finger so I'm pretty sure it won't happen and he'll be in my bed every night as usual. How can you say no to this face?

Hey ladies!

I swear I don't work for any of these companies

With a new little nephew on the way, god willing, I've been talking a lot to my sister-in-law Erica about baby stuff. I've given her rundowns of all the gear we have and recommend, and have given her tips for finding good deals and ways to save money. It was our email conversation yesterday that led her to suggest, "This would be a great topic for your blog!" So here it is - How Kim Dominates Internet Shopping! Haha.

First things first, please vote for Ivy! How is it that this gorgeous little sparkler is doing so bad in the rankings? Vote early and vote often...seriously, every day through Sunday (and multiple times a day from different browsers and computers). Tell yo' friends too. Ivy rules!

Parents Magazine Kid of the Year - click here!

(You have to vote, not just Facebook like it!)

Anyway, I often joke about my internet shopping addiction...okay, so it's not always a joke but I should clarify the "addiction" part. Sure I lust after fancy shoes and handbags, or browse designer clothes for my kids, but that's not what I actually buy. Please. Here's my situation - I don't really have time to shop for much more than food, so I rely on the interwebz for many of my purchases. And when you're on a super-tight budget like we are, you have to be careful about where your money is going. Fortunately we've been blessed with lots of gifts when both kids were born, and 2 grandmothers who love to buy them clothes (and books and toys), not to mention lots of hand-me-downs from friends, so the truth is we don't often need a ton of new stuff for them. However, needs do arise - Ivy becoming potty trained and needing underpants, for example, and the birth of Sidney requiring a double stroller for our weekend walks to IKAR - so a-shopping we must go.

I can't even begin to tell you about how many things I've gotten practically or totally free due to my dilligence at finding the best deals and knowing places to shave off a few dollars here and a few dollars there. So I've decided to let you in on my secrets because we all like saving money, right? Here are my tips and rules:

1. My number one rule is never pay for shipping! If I can't get free shipping, I usually don't shop on the site. EVERYONE offers free shipping these days, so don't settle for less! If there's no free shipping code, I see how much more I need to buy to get free shipping and see if it's worth it to throw something else in the cart. For places like Target, I will ALWAYS make my purchase at least $50, because I know I can return the thing I don't really need in the store, thus saving me from having to pay to ship it back either and then I basically get the item I do need without having to pay for shipping. I will only pay for it if it's unavoidable, and I'm able to save at least the amount of shipping in other ways (see #3).

2. Ebates- this should be #1 because it's the first place you should start. This site actually sounds too good to be true - you get cash back for shopping through their site? What's the catch? Nothing...well except maybe you're a help to advertisers, but you actually get checks in the mail! (I just got a nice one last week.) You click through to the site you want to buy starting from Ebates, and it tracks your purchase, giving you a certain percentage back. And they offer incentives with daily double cash back on certain retailers. Deal of the century, I tell you. When I told my dad about this he was mad that I didn't tell him sooner! "Think of all the cash back I could have gotten when I bought our new TV or from all of the soccer jerseys I'm always buying!" Go there now, through my referral code.

3. Retailmenot - this site should be everyone's second stop, after Ebates. There are others out there, like Coupon Cabin, but I like this the best. You can search any retailer out there, and they will tell you what coupon codes exist...users submit them so they're not always accurate, but it's a great way to find codes that aren't publicized. And the best part is when you can stack the codes to get free shipping AND $5 off AND another 20% off! (Listen to me - I'm like an anti-Semite's dream!)

4. Be a loyal customer - get on the email list of places you frequent. You'll hear about sales and secret discounts, and sometimes you earn points by referring people. What, too many emails? Do what I do and use a secondary email account so you don't clog your main inbox. All of my purchases and related emails go to my Yahoo account, so I can keep Gmail for real communication.

Some of my favorite shopping sites and recommendations:

Diapers.com - kinda my best e-friend. Not a week goes by where we don't need baby bath soap or wipes or whatever. Sure you have to spend $25 to get free shipping (if you also buy something from the sister site Soap.com), but that's not really hard considering there are 4 people in our house and someone always needs something. And believe me, it's much more economical to tack on one or 2 items that I don't really need, but are cheap, than to go to Target when I know I can get them for a little bit less and end up impulse buying, thus negating the savings. Plus it's great for birthday gifts since they have EVERYTHING - books, toys, clothes, you name it. The best part is NEXT DAY SHIPPING! If you order by 6pm, it arrives on your door the very next day! Recently I was sorting through Sidney's jammies and realized about half of them didn't fit. With only 3 good pairs, and two of them in the laundry (with no time to wash them), I was going to be stuck the next night. Nope! Found a pair on clearance at diapers.com, added a couple other things we needed and BAM a box was waiting at the door when I got home from work. Sidney did not have to sleep naked after all.

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Not valid for existing Diapers.com, Soap.com or BeautyBar.com customers. Some restrictions apply.

Groupon/Living Social/Every other website like this - now this is really where I have an addiction because I get Daily Deal emails from at least 10 places a day so its a good thing I dont need or want most of whats on there - teeth whitening, Brazilian blow outs (okay, i'm tempted) personal pilates lessons, botox. But there will occasionally be some great ones, like for Amazon or GAP or Shutterfly (hello, super helpful for all my pictures!), and occasionally we spring for restaurant ones since we never really go out and this gives us an excuse to do so on the cheap.

Mamapedia and Plum District - like Groupon, but specifically for moms and families and customizable by city.

Amazon Mom - if you don't use Amazon, you're probably living under a rock. Their Mom site directs you to deals on all baby essentials, and you can sign up for Subscribe and Save for things like diapers. It can save you tons!

Baby Steals - I don't remember to check this every day, but someone posted a link on my mom's forum and I was so glad I checked it out - 50% off Ergos! I already have one, but we promised Erica and Adam that that would be our baby gift to them so can you imagine how excited I was? Score! This is extra amazing because Ergos are NEVER on sale (okay, rarely because I got mine on sale, natch).

Baby Half Off - pretty much the same as Baby Steals, but their stuff sells out super quick.

Of course the best way to save money is not to shop at all. But what fun is that?!